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January 02, 2008

How to Keep Your Self-Esteem Healthy in a Love Relationship

Your self-esteem, defined as how you feel about yourself, has a lot to do with the quality of your love-life. For example, if you do not feel good about yourself it is very likely that your love-life will reflect that feeling. You could be avoiding love altogether or finding partners who mistreat you in a way that matches how you feel about yourself. Keeping your self-esteem healthy in or out of a love relationship helps you prepare for and maintain a healthy love-life. Practice the following:

1. Stop all forms of abuse (physical, sexual, emotional & financial) immediately. Allowing people to abuse you because you ‘love’ them can only be destructive. No exceptions and no excuses. Get free.

2. You should be in a love relationship by choice, not because your partner is forcing you to be. Controlling people have difficulty feeling secure. They force and control others so they will not feel vulnerable and scared. Get free.

3. You are equal with your partner, different roles but equal power and responsibility. If not, you are only going to feel trapped and like a child at some point in the relationship. Make it equal.

4. Practice two person love relationships, where there are two people, two voices. Speak up even if it makes everybody uncomfortable.

5. If there is real love in your relationship, honesty will begin solving your love-life problems. Remember what they say, the truth will set you free. Free to love or free to leave, either one.

6. Practice sharing with your partner. Sharing is good for your love relationship. And every once in a while give something without expecting anything in return.

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